Insomnia

         You get to a point when sleeping about 4 hours a night is normal. There’s just simply too much to think about, read about, and write about. If I step back and look at my life, I think I’m one of the luckiest people on this planet. I have a happily married mother and father and a beautiful younger baby sister (she’s sixteen now but whatever). I get to attend one of the best universities (I may be a bit biased), be a part of an AMAZING sisterhood, and I have a job that helps me learn for my future career. I have the ability to pay my own bills and still spoil the people I love. I am so lucky. I take a lot of it for granted. I just can’t seem to process how I got to this point in my life or what I did to deserve this. I’m a healthy twenty one year old girl. I have all the resources to make my biggest dreams come true. I have the biggest heart that I just happen to wear on my sleeve. I get excited about just anything and everything. I have a 13 hour day tomorrow and all I want to do is write. Why, you ask? Continue reading.

         I’m not nearly as religious as I used to be. It’s not a bad thing, I’m just forming opinions of my own since I’m experiencing a lot of new things. My dear youth pastor from when I was an active member at my church back home has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer (and STILL FIGHTING). I’ve been a very lucky girl. I’ve never really lost anybody who was extremely close to me (besides my great grandmother when I was 4) until recently. I lost one of my friends from high school back in October. I don’t know how to react to death. Yes, I want to be a doctor, it’s going to happen and I get that. It’s just so different when it’s somebody you know and were so close to at one point. Today my old youth pastor had surgery and it really didn’t go well at all. They’re working hard on spending lots of quality time together. I haven’t been this upset in a really long time. Let’s keep in mind I probably haven’t spoken to this youth pastor of mine for at least a year. It doesn’t matter; he’s a part of the church family. I have yet to see a stronger bond than that of my church family. There’s something special about this group of people and I still can’t put my finger on it.  I just can’t express to you how much these people mean to me. Why am I blessed with all these amazing people? Why do I complain so much about having to wake up for an 8 am when this amazing man is fighting cancer? He has a beautiful family that I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. All I see on my newsfeed is people changing their profile pictures to the “Manzo Prayer Warrior” photo and it honestly just makes my heart smile. Nobody deserves this. This family needs all the good vibes and prayers they can possibly get, so please send them their way.

         I have a roof over my head and I complain about having to walk in the cold to get to class. My goal is to not be so selfish. My goal is to appreciate the little moments and never take anything for granted. I’ll stand my ground. If you’re reading this and smiling, you’re one of the ones who mean a lot to me and I hope you feel the same way. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in the past couple of days. I’m going to spend a lot more of my free time volunteering and going home as often as my schedule permits. Life is too short to stay mad at people and not spend it with the people you love.

Below I attached the link to the journal his wife has been keeping. Check it out and please please please pray. 

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/chrismanzo/journal/view/id/52e98761e9cb6a001f6278fe

And So it Begins.....

            I had talked about starting a blog about my journey to medical school a few months ago with a few of my close friends and here I am, going to try my best and keep my word (one of my new years resolutions). 

I honestly can’t think of anything that I want more than to go to medical school. Sure, a puppy or a man by my side would be nice, but who needs those things when you have family and friends to support you every step of the way? This blog is in no way to come off as me gloating or to keep my competition up to date with where I stand any competition, it’s just for a little inspiration and well, for me to keep you guys updated. I don’t really like using Facebook as much as I used to (starting to find it a little irritating). This is also a lot easier than just saying “It’s going,” when somebody asks me how the pre-med life is treating me. This is going to be completely informal and my over enthusiastic personality (ha!) will probably show quite a bit. I’ll try to update about every two weeks or so, but no promises. School comes first and this semester is the semester that counts the most.

Now that that’s all done with, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I’m going for a Bachelor of Science Degree in Biology with minors in chemistry and psychology. I’m already classified as a senior (wut) even though it’s only my third year as an undergraduate. I’ve never been much of a writer but I do have an artistic side. I like to spend my free time taking pictures and painting a lil bit. Life is all about trying new things, so I figured this would be a good start. My mouth doesn’t move as fast as my brain does….and neither does my hand. I can’t read my own handwriting. I’m a daughter, sister, friend, and coworker. I’d like to think I’m a good person. I’m overly caring (as most doctors should be). I’m a sorority girl and proud to be one. I’d hope to be a role model one day for people of all ages. One thing that makes me smile the most is when people ask me about my future. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but for some reason all it makes me do is smile. By no means am I in anyway perfect, but everybody has their star shining moments. You can always tell when someone is so passionate about something. I learned this in one of my classes (can’t remember which one…oops), but their focus changes, they suddenly have reflexes as fast as a cat, and they won’t shut up about whatever their supposed interest is. That’s me usually about anything science related (except physics). I love talking to people about medical school or even just science classes. I’m weird and I’m fully aware. College is all about meeting people, right? Whenever I tell people I just meet that I’m a pre-med student, they usually just give me a sound of disgust and then proceed to ask me a series of questions. I’ve been observant over the years and they’re usually the same. Ready to hear my responses to them? Ok.

“If you wanna be a doctor that means you must be really smart, right?”

Actually, I don’t think I’m super intelligent or the smartest person on the planet. I just work really hard. I study a lot and maybe I’m so weird because of that. I like knowing the details. I also have a really good memory. I pointed out a guy I went to elementary school with in one of my classes. This is the first year I’m going to try to keep a planner. I’ve been able to remember due dates and when I work and things of that sort without having to write it down. I’m just getting to the point in my life where I have way too much going on. This semester I plan on being a full time student (upperlevels only, yay), studying for my MCAT (it’s like the SAT for medical school), working a part time job, being an active member in my sorority, and somehow having time to sleep more than four hours a night.

“Wow, you sure have a lot of school left, don’t you?”

Why yes, I do. I’m going to have lots of debt and serious dark bags under my eyes, I’m aware. I think it’s completely worth it.

“What type of doctor do you want to be?”

If we are being honest, I don’t have any idea. When I meet random people that I’m probably not going to see again, I just give them a random specialty. I have so many years to decide and I won’t have to make a decision until my 3^rd year in medical school.

“You must have a high GPA, right?”

Most pre-med student who are modest don’t share with too many people if at all (maybe competition to scare them a little bit ;) ). Again, I work hard and hard work pays off. Grades aren't everything. They’re a big factor. Would you want a doctor who got a 4.0 in their undergrad who wasn't involved, or would you rather have a doctor with a 3.5, who is active on campus and has great people skills? Exactly.

“What made you want to go into medicine?”

Every student has their own story. I’ve loved math and science as long as I can remember. It was all about trial and error for me. My high school/school district had a charter school that offered specialty courses. I actually took an engineering class my freshman year; learned that wasn’t for me within a couple of weeks. My sophomore year of high school I took awhile to look at my options. I finally decided to take a health science class, I mean what was the harm in that anyways? I fell in love. It was very basic and I met some awesome people along the way. My senior year I took a Pharmacy Technician certification class (which is how I got the job I have now); still completely in love. I entered college my freshman year as a biology major and I’m still here. I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else.

Wow, that was a lot to read and I’m pretty impressed if you’ve read all of that. I’m super excited to see what this semester brings and to see what I’m able to accomplish.

As Meredith Grey would say, “If there's just one piece of advice I can give you, it's this--when there's something you really want, fight for it, don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask yourself in 10 years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot because the best things in life, they don't come free."